Portfolio Gambler Gifts

"Sure you can question my financial judgement, but you have to admire the strength of my convictions."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Dog in casino.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

Low-Rent Stockholders

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

Stock Market.

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"Looks like we invested in a dysfunctional family of funds."

'No. The last time I tried to get my money to work for me it ran off and left me.'

'You've been hard at work on my account, judging from the number of prospectuses I throw away unopened each week.'