Portfolio Gambler Gifts

"Sure you can question my financial judgement, but you have to admire the strength of my convictions."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Dog in casino.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

Low-Rent Stockholders

Stock Market.

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"Looks like we invested in a dysfunctional family of funds."

'No. The last time I tried to get my money to work for me it ran off and left me.'

'You've been hard at work on my account, judging from the number of prospectuses I throw away unopened each week.'

'I thought she'd never leave.'