Stock Gamblers Gifts

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Superstock'

Chinese stock market

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

Out of control

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Shares Nosedive

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'