Penny Stock Gambler Gifts

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Low-Rent Stockholders

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

Stock Market - "I suggest you buy Acme Chemicals."

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

OK, buy! No, wait... sell! No, change that... sell! No... buy! No... sell! Buy!

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

'Stocks rebounded from yesterday's losses on news that 'it aint over till it's over'.'

"Greed, anger, envy and pride closed higher today, while lust, gluttony and sloth showed losses."

"When I pass away, don't make the announcement until after the closing bell so as not to affect the stock market."

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

'Here at First Infidelity we've always been forward thinking investors. We've invested in penny stocks before they were penny stocks.'

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'I put money in the stock market and now I don't have any to put in the supermarket.'

"The DOW will reach 100,000. What else do you want to hear?"

My bullish strategy was given a bum steer.

Put all our money in corporate stocks.

"Sure you can question my financial judgement, but you have to admire the strength of my convictions."

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."