Penny Slots Player Gifts

"But I don't want to go yet, I'm winning...I'm ahead almost three dollars!"

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Monkey casino study.

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

Low-Rent Stockholders

Planning for retirement in a casino.

An affair to remember.

"I wasn't very interested in numbers 'til I discovered you could make money out of them."

NYSE. Many will enter, few will win.

'Miss Mckinley, do you have a penny? My desk is wobbly.'

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

"You lose again...!"

"My wife disposes all of my disposable income."

One Armed Bandit

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

Slot machine.

'Wow! An old penny!'

Slot Machine Tree

'These days a penny saved is a penny sitting in a jar somewhere.'

Look! A penny!

"Excuse me, is this a smoking area?"

Bartender: 'Take it from me buddy,stay clear of that one.She's only interested in your money.'

One armed bandit workout.

Down On My Luck

'Sorry, this machine only takes small bills.'

'You should have come to me sooner.'

Teacher to students: 'A penny for your thoughts, but only if you're here on scholarship.'

'Here at First Infidelity we've always been forward thinking investors. We've invested in penny stocks before they were penny stocks.'

'A year ago my wife thought she'd found the perfect parking space--$80,000 in quarters later, she's still trying to leave.'

A beginner's guide to being a sociopath

'What do you mean I'm maxed out? I demand more chips! Let me speak to your supervisor!'

Island one armed bandit.

Slot machine with tip slot.