Slot Enthusiast Gifts

'It's not my osteoporosis...I recently discovered slot machines!'

The only machine in Vegas that pays out.

Dogs and their thoughts

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

Bribes for Jabs

Peel poker.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Dogs Playing Poker in the Park

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Playing cards.

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"Botox."

Destination casinos...

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Sailor's Poker.

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Gloria, why do you keep saying "Go Fish"? We're playing poker. It's as close as I can get to telling you what I'd really like to in a family newspaper.

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'