Slot Enthusiast T-Shirts

'It's not my osteoporosis...I recently discovered slot machines!'

The only machine in Vegas that pays out.

Dogs and their thoughts

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Dogs Playing Poker in the Park

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

Slug roulette

'I'll see your diuretic and raise you three anti-depressants.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Playing cards.

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"Botox."

Sailor's Poker.

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Destination casinos...

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"It's lotto fever."

Tonto Casino.