Gambling Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

Cavemen playing with a roulette table

Signs You Play Too Much Texas Hold 'Em

'And it didn't surprise you to learn you weren't playing with a full deck?'

Cameron and European Union

Casino - We never lose.

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'He's the type that gives racing a bad name.'

'We won the lottery! We're Nouveau Riche! We're Nouveau Riche!'

'Don't bother me now Edith, I only need one more number to win the lottery jackpot!'

'Is the Lotto a roll-over this week?'

'Now that I got the job, may I ring my bookie to tell him it's all ok?'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

-Sorry, I was ill yesterday -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the 5th leg!

'Welcome back! -- How was your all expenses paid, free trip to Las Vegas?'

'This is the only place where the windows clean the people.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'I'm thinking of starting a bookie club, are you in?'

Slug roulette.

Lottery Chances

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

"Tia Carmen, if you want to improve your odds, there are certain strategies you can take. Like tracking, wheeling, pooling...."

"The odds on the race are about 90 to 1! We'll make a killing when you let me win!"

"I won £20 in the local sheep-stake!!"

'The mafia bet big money he'd miss. Sit up or you're dead.'

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

The Lottery.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Custer's Last Hand.

Church of the high roller.

"Heads it is. You're up 25 cents. Want to go double or nothing?"

'I asked what your lucky numbers were so I could buy you a lottery ticket.'