Instinctive Gambler Gifts

Post Game Day Betting.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

Are these sessions as soul-deadening for you as they are for me, doctor? Let's not have a contest, Al. Or, if we do, no wagering.

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

"I say this as a friend, Tom...we always know when you're bluffing!"

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

"Don't over think it. Just go with your beer gut."

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

Lottery Here. Don't you know the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Yes, but we're hoping for a huge tax refund.

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'

'I put money in the stock market and now I don't have any to put in the supermarket.'

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

"How long have you been wasting our money on lottery tickets?"

My bullish strategy was given a bum steer.

He dropped ten quid.

Put all our money in corporate stocks.

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

"Every hand I draw is a royal flush! This really is heaven!"

"I thought you said risk taking was okay?" 'Not putting the pension fund on Lucky Lady to win."

Gambling in Heaven - Losing your halo.