Improvisational Gambler Gifts

Gamblers

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

Post Game Day Betting.

I get my ideas on sale...

Doctor's poker.

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Pyramid Skiers

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

STRIP Hambone: Betting on horse racing with the company payroll

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'

Aggressive investing.

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

Could you check and see if my mind is back there anywhere?

I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

Boris Johnson and the Stock Market

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

Bought Low, Sold Lower.

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

Impulse Investors Welcomed.

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

Neighbours playing tennis over the garden wall.

'Double or nothing on the second opinion, Doc?'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

"Have you been here long?"

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'Look at the bright side, it's better to have loved money and lost than never to have invested at all.'