Pun-loving Gambler Gifts

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

Do it yourself books.

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

Dogs playing strip poker.

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

ACE Roofing: Our Minds Are Always In The Gutter!

Cat punishement.

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus . . . '

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

Vending machines at work: Snacks, Coffee, Glimmer of Hope

'I used to be really depressed about losing the superlotto, but then I found this support group, and I realized I'm not the only person who hasn't won.'

A child pulls the lever of a machine that is combination of both a slot machine and a gumball machine.

'I know it's a long shot but wouldn't it be worth hanging on until after the wednesday lottery draw?'

'Phht! This activist judge wont throw the book at him. He just tosses it underhand.'

Ship Modelers in Damnation

'You want to see a lawyer? No problem — he's a lawyer.'

Billy strip: dad doesn't get to shuffle the horses.

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

"I'd like 13,983,816 lottery tickets please..."

'If you commit a crime when you're slow as molasses & leave a trail of slime you're going to do some time.'

Hamster Cello tape.

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

'I like it!'

'Dude! You got the needle! Freakin' A that's cool, those things are wickedly hard to find!'

"Wow, Tia Carmen! This is a big shrine!"

"Do all your casinos have these?"

"Here's that lottery ticket I told you about! I matched all but five numbers! And I bought it on Thursday instead of Tuesday! Other than that, I would have won!"

Cabby and facetious fare

"And it turned out that the e-mail I binned really was from a Nigerian oil millionaire wanting to give me ?200 million."