Pun-loving Bettor Gifts

'You seem certain he'll win the second race. Yes, because he's in the first race.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Do it yourself books.

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'...And zap him quick, before that bleeding-heart Governor gets back from vacation.'

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

Cat punishement.

Dogs playing strip poker.

ACE Roofing: Our Minds Are Always In The Gutter!

'At least it's a dry heat'

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus . . . '

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'I thought the Indiana state bird was 'Larry'.'

'I learned a new word today!'

'I know we lost 5-0. I'm happy because I bet £100 on the other side to win!'

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

Hamster Cello tape.

Geder Reveal Party

'Funny how, before the race, you know exactly who will win, and after the race exactly why they didn't.'

'...he thought he'd killed you !'