Fun-loving Gambler Gifts

Paramutual friends.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

God in the bunker.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

Goalie Wall.

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

'Will you make the final table?'

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Mary's Botox injections paid for themselves in no time.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'Stop your complaining it was the only cart left.'

'This week he took me skateboarding. I think my inner child's trying to kill me.'

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Pest control.

Inventing the roulette wheel.

Slug roulette.

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

'I'm only a kid for a few years, Dad- I need more time with the computer.'