Gambling Industry Worker T-Shirts

'Pickpocket is an outside bet...left purse on bus is favourite!' (Security at the races on the phone over a reported missing purse).

"Business is slow. Everyone gets their bookies online now."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Little league world series of poker.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'I don't like to take chances.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Dog in casino.

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Stag poker"

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Playing cards.

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'