Resort Staff Gifts

We were out of little umbrellas, so I added a bit of sunscreen!

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Face painting.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Multi-tasking.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"You owe me five bucks."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Happy Hour

The World's Easiest Airport

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

TSA Noah

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Employee of the Month Parking

Busy office.

The Scanner Of Love.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.