Resort Staff T-Shirts

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Counting ribs

Face painting.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Multi-tasking.

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"You owe me five bucks."

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Happy Hour

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

The World's Easiest Airport

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

TSA Noah

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Busy office.

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

Employee of the Month Parking

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'