Spring Season Kickoff Gifts

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Perils of the double play.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

Input From The Front Office

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

'We're in a hurry.'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

Spring Training

'I pulled something playing soccer.'

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"