Spring Season Kickoff Gifts

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Perils of the double play.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Kenny Dalglish

'This flower won't let go of my nose.'

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Input From The Front Office

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

'We're in a hurry.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"You're back! You're really back...!"

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

Baseball teams have just opened their spring training camps! I love this time of year when anything is possible in the upcoming season. Maybe one day before the season ends, I'll be at the stadium and stand with the crowd as we anticipate the game's final out! I'll be thrilled if I go to a game and the catchers and home plate umpire are the only ones needing to wear a mask. This could be a special season. If things work out, fans everywhere will feel like winners no matter how their favorit

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

Spring Training

'I pulled something playing soccer.'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."