Nfl Season Kickoff Gifts

"You're back! You're really back...!"

In a cost cutting move, NFL teams begin outsourcing jobs once held by domestic offensive coordinators.

Bowled over again!

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Kenny Dalglish

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Input From The Front Office

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Ok, team it's a tie. We're going into overtime. First score wins the game! Let's see your fiercest game faces! That's it! My sudden death panel!

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'Champions league'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Snowman Football Fan.

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.