Spread Master Gifts

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

Out and In.

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

The Perfect Cannonball

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'I didn't want to get the napkin messy.'

Untidy bedroom

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Accounting: Desk trays - 'Accounts receivable' and 'Accounts deceivable'.

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

Accountants can be fun!

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Bill couldn't explain it but every day around 3 o'clock he would hit the wall.

"What's this Artificial newt's tail? Instant toad urine? No wonder your spells suck!"

'Who messed up my workbench?!'

"We will indeed be facing numerous enraged customers."

'I was interested to see that you're living in a complete pigsty. Ours isn't quite finished yet.'

"Can I help it if my pen leaks!"