Stretch Master Gifts

Crack

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

Important Muscles.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

Office Safety.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

Yoga in Heaven

Yoga

'Yesterday you pulled 8 muscles when you sneezed. I think it's time you started exercising again.'

"Hey dude, when I said 'curls might help', that's not what I meant."

'How's your pilates class doing?'

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

Working Out

Anabolic Steroids

"I don't care how much the petrol costs for the strimmer. Get it cut!"

The Arc of History tries bending toward justice after skipping yoga class for a few years.

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"

Easter egg yoga

"Ugh. My hip hurts, my lower back aches, and my wrist is killing me. Stupid yoga!"

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

'Of course it's competitive. I'm competing with myself.'

'The endless forms, the long wait, the cost, problems with your insurance...that WAS the stress test, Mr Phizby.'

Warming up

'...and let's get one thing straight. This ain't no yoga class for wimps.'

"I know this sucks, but just think of how awful we'll feel tomorrow."

Take it easy on the stretching exercises!