Stretching Pro Gifts

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

'Keep fit.'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

Office Safety.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

Gymnast tangled up.

Ah, geez, there goes my groin muscle again.

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

Yoga in Heaven

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

"Oh, gosh! Yoga in twenty minutes."

'How's your pilates class doing?'

Cat Yoga.

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

'If I can touch my toes I can touch dessert.'

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"