Stretching Aficionado Gifts

Warming up

Take it easy on the stretching exercises!

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

How to go form fit to fat...

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

Early Exercise Machines

"Feeling stupid yet? No? Then keep going!"

Battery lifting weights

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

Fast Food Dieter

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

'Music & Gym'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

Prisoner Stretches Before Stretching Torture

"Go ahead, Perkins. I can listen to your report and roll out my hammies at the same time."

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"You're doing great - keep it up."

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.