Stretch Pants Aficionado Gifts

Dieting Options: Non-fat, low-fat, stretch pants.

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

Bobbies library of jeans

"Underweird bras."

"Great tights!"

Happy Brithday

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"Aren't you glad we stayed in? I had time to order us some more sweatpants."

Office Safety.

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"He'll do anything to get his underwear sponsors a mention!"

"Hillary Clinton is polling well here. Sales off pants suits are up."

Wrong end of extension cord.

An elephant in an aerobics class wearing horizontal-striped workout tights. Instructor says,

'How's your pilates class doing?'

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

"It's been a great year except for me not getting any respect for my personal 'dressing for comfort' choice."

'Can I borrow a bra, my nipples need protecting?'

"Actually, you don't have a pinched nerve...your underwear is too tight!"

The Arc of History tries bending toward justice after skipping yoga class for a few years.

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

"I'll be there in a few. I never knew it took so long to get dressed with cargo pants!"

'Of course it's competitive. I'm competing with myself.'

Santa Yoga

"Now that I work remotely, I keep forgetting to shave and get a haircut. At least today I remembered to get dressed."

"Ninth floor, underwear, socks, t-shirts."

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

You're buying men's underwear?! No. Just lookin' at the pictures.