Sports Novice Gifts

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

Skiing.

"First time pruning?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

Bunny Hill

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Olympics create interest in curling.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Triple whammy."

"What's my collar size?"

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

Bad Violinist.

'First time skiing?'

'Hank, I know you're new at turkey hunting, but that isn't the way you call turkeys.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

I don't know much about Tennis...

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

'Your first lesson is free.'

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

"Yes, but it's naturally toxic."