Fitness Novice Gifts

Get washboard abs!

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

Lazy man reading a fitness book.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Be Healthy

"First time pruning?"

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

The rock caricature

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Man using exercise bike being chased by dog

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Running

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Brad Pitt

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

Exercise now!

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."