Fitness Rookie Gifts

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

Over-priced clumsy exercise equipment.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

In the Guru District

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Well, well, well...'

Turn, turn and turn.

Muscles

Be Healthy

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.