Novice Athlete Gifts

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

"First time pruning?"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Bunny Hill

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

A boy with a football

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

Olympics create interest in curling.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'I'm the new kid on the team. Where's my signing bonus?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'Nice level swing, Billy. Just meet the ball. Don't try to kill it, Billy.'

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."