Novice Adults Gifts

Freshman Ryan Brenneman was having a tough time acclimating to life away from home.

Today we learned to count to one.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

"Not lengthways you idiot!!"

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

Bad Violinist.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

'Tom just had his first workout at the gym.'

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

Napkin Writer

You're not supposed to lob the rock!

'Your first lesson is free.'

If I learn how to write Roman Numerals, will that help me write computer code?

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

"It's not what you know, it's who you know." "Either way, I'm starting from scratch."

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

'Of course you can move back in with us, Son... but after only one day?'

"Yes, but it's naturally toxic."

"No recordering allowed!"

x"It wasn't a bad swing, but you're still moving your head."

IRS: File Tax Returns Here At Your Own Risk

'Something to go with a new velvet suit.'

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

Alas but only a few people master the perfect pick up line