Dating Novice Gifts

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

Alas but only a few people master the perfect pick up line

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

Today we learned to count to one.

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"What's my collar size?"

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

"We pointed, but we never clicked."

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"Boys meet the girls. Girls meet the boys. . ."

"What's confusing is exactly how we're supposed to have sex."