Relationship Novice Gifts

This is the best second date I've ever had. Isn't this the only second date you've ever had?

Their first date was a complete disaster. He was lousy at talking about emotions and she was hopeless when they talked about sport.

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

Today we learned to count to one.

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

Urns in love

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

Hold on

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Growing Love

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Too desperate?"

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'