Relationship Novice Gifts

Their first date was a complete disaster. He was lousy at talking about emotions and she was hopeless when they talked about sport.

"If you have a boyfriend, I have some advice, young lady! Wisdom that's been handed down from generation to generation!"

Today we learned to count to one.

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

Growing Love

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"Too desperate?"

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

Love

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."