Relationship Newbie Gifts

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

Love at First Sight

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Speed Dating for Turtles

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Romance

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Mr. Right!"

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

I only have eyes for you

'I'll be darned! A nipple mood ring!'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Relationship Warning Lights

"Wow, I just love the way you waddle!"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"I guess opposites do attract. She's a real shaker, and he's such a grind."

Love linked

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"Honestly, sweetheart, you're not like the others I've been out with."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"She's just being Koi."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'