Online Dating Novice Gifts

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

"You may now kiss the bride."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

cuPad

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Today's love

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"Everybody meets online these days."

'Your website or mine?'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your online profile says you like to foxtrot."

"We met the old fashioned way – online, in a chat room."