Sports Newbie Gifts

Olympics create interest in curling.

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Perils of the double play.

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

'Here we go again...'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

Future Wrestler

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

'It's all right, miss, I'm only loking for our cricket-ball!'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

Computer books for dummies.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

Please seat to be weighted.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'I decided it was time to be more active when my wife started dusting me twice a week.'

"Your fingers are the only part of you that's in shape. Apparently, the only exercise you get is texting."

American footballers with numbers correlating to their size.

"Okay, maybe we should count assembling the exercise bike as your first workout."

'I'm no good at push ups.'

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

Naomi Osaka

"It's a special golf bag for beginners - It has a built-in GPS."

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

Mulligan's first mulligan.