Basketball Newbie Gifts

'I feel silly jumping for a dropped ball.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Church for sports worshipers.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

The Salmon Run

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Gary turns 40.

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Brad discovers what can happen when you don't wash your gym clothes...

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'Anything is possible in our great country, son. If an Afro-American can become president, a white man can become a pro basketball player.'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Why moms make bad refs.

"I love fast break business success."

Basketball

Playing pig

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'