Basketball Enthusiast Gifts

"I told him to do that."

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'I don't think it's a concussion . . . although the smoke has me concerned.'

'This is it, gentlemen. The big game. A date with dentistry.'

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

"I carefully examine the data for March madness brackets and every year I lose to Anita, who picks by uniform colors."

'What? I've been cut from the team!??'

'No, Jerome, that is incorrect... can anyone else demonstrate the proper way to tape a basketball player's ankle?'

Basketball Players Working Together

'When do I learn to slamdunk?'

'Hey, hey, hey! Wait until I toss up the ball. I want a fair jump.'

Kids can shoot a basket from 50 feet away, but can't hit a trash can two inches from their noses.

No eye in team.

'Hey, I'm no orthopaedic surgeon - know what I'm sayin'? But this can't be good.'

'Nurse, turn the basketball game up. This is a painful procedure, so I don't want to miss the game due to the patient's screaming.'

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

A basketball match

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

'Don't make excuses, Moore! If you can't guard that guy, I'll put someone in who can!'

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but 'March Madness' is not an official school holiday."

Big Foot

'Bad foul! Bad, bad, bad foul!'

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'

Kid rage.

'...If he misses, I want everyone else to immediately start pointing fingers and blaming Brady.'

'The dollar was down, the yen was up...but Michael Jordan autographed basketballs held steady.'

'This is Bob. He's really short, but he's got quick hands, watch.'

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

BOBBY KNIGHT: Age one

I love Basketball.

'Let's go home, coach. If God was going to intervene with a miracle and change the final score to save your job, it would have happened by now.'