Basketball Aficionado Gifts

Brandon didn't talk trash like all the other players.

'Why are you always so defensive?'

'What are the chances? I mean, all 10 players simultaneously dive for a loose ball and conk heads?'

"That's for our son. . . the one with a basketball scholarship!"

'Show's over. Move along. Nothing to see here...'

Dirk Nowitzki

Ricky Rubio

Basketball net that shreds the basketball.

Horse's first introduction to native Americans.

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

'I think I'm getting my ratings from my last game.'

'CSI: Basketball.'

'Well, here's your answer, Schluman. How can I possible promote you to district sales manager if you can't even palm a basketball?'

John Wooden.

'This is Mr. Arnold. Mr. Arnold is a season ticket holder. I've brought him down to the floor so that he can explain what he means when he yells, 'Pull your heads out...'

'These are great seats, Kenny'

"You're lucky you don't get carved this time of year."

'I always wanted to sleep with the star of the game.'

The young 'Sports' enthusiast.

"Good game."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Salmon Run

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

Why moms make bad refs.