Basketball Fan Gifts

'Just shoot! You're thinking about it too much!!'

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'

'It's a note from your players, coach. It says they are very - no, 'extremely' sorry for losing the game, and can they please come out now.'

'Great team. Brilliant coach. No ball handler...'

'I found out where the NBA players shop online.'

'Remember, winning isn't everything. There's also anger management.'

Randy sets his B.O. meter on 'stun' and dribbles in for an easy layup.

Pumpkin receives plastic surgery and turns into basketball.

'If you were truly my best friend, you'll take me to the basketball game...instead of throwing some stupid stick at me.'

'These DNA results confirm what we suspected. There is only a 1-in-5 billion chance that you did not commit the foul.'

Cat and Mouse's basketball hoop.

'You want to ask your uncle for investment advice? That's like asking Shaq for free-throw lessons.'

'Gotta cut your grade back for that.'

Le hoops.

'Oh yeah? Well, my dad can beat up your dad!'

Santa throwing a present into a chimney.

Cats Will Often Play With Their Food Before Eating It.

'As president, health care, the war, oil price problems will all be a 'slam dunk' because I'd be the first president who can slam dunk!'

'You know what we need? We need someone in there who can band some bodies around and attack the boards.'

'I need someone who can go in there and bang some bodies around.'

'My mom's so overprotective she won't let me run with sharp cheddar in my hands.'

'Get back in the ship, Feldman. Don't ask questions.'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

Turtle shooting baskets has rim on shell.

Fun guy.

'Here we go again. No defense. ... Scott just stands there and lets the opposing ghost go right through him.'

Maps to celebrities courtside seats

Jackson Gymnasium: Home of the Pirates...Admission - 3 pieces of eight.

Putin and Obama.

The Warriors Were Last on the Court But First in Social Media.

"No you don't young man....Those shoes cost me 4125.000, there's no way you're wearing them outdoors!"

"If winning isn't everything, why do you break down and cry when your stocks fall?"

"How should we divide the teams?"

"That's my son."

"I must confess, I'm starting to prefer basketball to baseball."