Sports Finance Satirist Gifts

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Spot the difference.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

Alternative fielding positions

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

The Leafs win the Cup!

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

The Hockey World

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

'The bad news is that we're only in it for the money.'