Satirical Sports Enthusiast Gifts

...'So I said forget about the wages, I just want to play football.'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Alternative fielding positions

The Golfing Accident

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

The Hockey World

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

The Leafs win the Cup!

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Punishment for the kicker.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Football heads...

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."