Satirical Sports Fan Gifts

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Pick Pocketing was so popular in London that it was included in the Baton relay.

Tokyo Olympics 2020

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

Dad, let's get this baseball video game. You have to guess which players are going to be sent to drug rehab.

'Their offense is shifty and often ruthless. I want you to study the videotapes - especially this one showing their quarterback robbing a convenience store at gunpoint.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Native American Indian Lacrosse

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

The javelin must be around here somewhere.

Alternative fielding positions

'I've sewn a little handkerchief pocket inside his shorts for phlegm.'

Machine Gun Hunting

Cheating Cyclist Podium

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

The Leafs win the Cup!

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

The Hockey World

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'Here we go again...'

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

Various men worshipping a statue of a football