Sports Fan With Humor Gifts

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Alternative fielding positions

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Here we go again...'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Pole Vault Rules

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

Football heads...

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Punishment for the kicker.

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'