Sports Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm not good at the hurdles."

'The bad news is that you have Multiple Personality Disorder - the good news is one of you is hitting .432.'

"I've been looking for a relationship with no strings attached."

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Press the red button for the 'no grunt' option...'

'Just don't get overconfident. This guy may not have much of a backhand, but he's got god on his side.'

"What are you in for, Mac?"

"My wallet fell on my foot..."

'Yes! it went in! Finally, I got a hole-in-one! And with THREE witnesses!'

Best Actor Award.

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'Truth? This drill has nothing to do with football. I just like to watch them scream.'

'Our team has gone undefeated since my players started wearing moral Blinders!'

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'

'Did the bloke in the white shirt win?'

'Would you mind not standing behind my back!'

Spiderweb on the High Jump

'I see we're victimized by yet another nature show. It's like we're the Washington Generals of the animal kingdom.'

O X. Once football practice starts those two spend all day together. F E.

'It's out of hand when the team mascot tests positive for steroids.'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Cipriani- Heir to The Throne.

Soccer is the thinking man's game. In your sports, the players don't use their heads.

'I'm taking you off of chattering in the outfield.'

What's the significance of that jersey you're wearing? I wanted to wear a number that would reflect my mood. Pardon my language, but I feel like "number two." 2

Beginner Skater/Advanced Skaters

"No, not that stretcher."

"At this point in the season I'm ahead of Roger Maris. I'm alive."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Tour de France champ Octave Lapize

'Naw, I ain't athletic - it's just eye - hand coordination and the heft to hit the long ball.'

Basketball Court.

Service area.

When the revolution comes, umpires will rule baseball.

Tip jar at boxing match.