Sports Joke Enthusiast Gifts

'Bavetta! The foul is called 'holding.' Stop calling it 'touchy-feely.''

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Pole Vault Rules

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

The best goalie in the world!

'Here we go again...'

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Football heads...

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Punishment for the kicker.

Team medic spraying deodorant

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Loser's Podium.

Ref shows footballer green card.

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

The Washington Arbitrators