Sporty Humor Fan Gifts

Bird tells upside-down bird, you need to work on your grip.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Alternative fielding positions

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'Here we go again...'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Pole Vault Rules

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

The best goalie in the world!

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Punishment for the kicker.

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Football heads...

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Golf escape.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat