Sports Fan With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"Are you sure you used human growth hormone?"

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

"You may experience a bit of discomfort."

'I've discovered if I shine the nose up on just one side I get a bit of swing.'

"So they overturn the call -- then what?"

"Yeah? Well, I thought you brought a ball."

'Vice will cover the front. Hank will disarm the security guard. Allen and I will grab the cash...'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

'That's just not right, coach. I mean, yeah, you deserve to get canned. But they could have found a less expensive way to let you know.'

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Ludwig's still injured. He's traveling with the team, but I didn;t let him suit up.'

"Well that's one way of getting your ball on the green. . ."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Alternative fielding positions

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

'Here we go again...'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

Punishment for the kicker.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Football heads...

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Thanksgiving Game Highlights

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'