Sports Lover With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Using a javelin to remove a tooth.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Saving a Heart

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Pole Vault Rules

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Football heads...

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Punishment for the kicker.

Team medic spraying deodorant

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'