Sports Fans With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Street beggar has a giant foam hand that says '#1 Beggar.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Maybe you set it up wrong."

'Here we go again...'

The best goalie in the world!

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Golf escape.

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

'That reminds me - your hospital appointment is next week.'

'What do we think? We think it's foolish to skip obedience school and go straight to the NBS...'

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

Egads. I've forgotten what the rule is about a runner throwing a leg to base ahead of himself.

False starts.

Modern Football

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'Time is running out - shoot! Everyone is starting to keel over and die!!'

"Well that's one way of getting your ball on the green. . ."

"OK maybe we should try a different sport."