Sports Satire Aficionado Gifts

'I read in Golf Digest that shaving my arms will add 1.3 yards to my drives.'

'Wow! This is an expensive golf course...a free drop costs ten bucks!'

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

Alternative fielding positions

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

The Hockey World

The Leafs win the Cup!

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

Goodbye Opiate of the Masses

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Punishment for the kicker.

Football heads...

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

The solitude of bean farming appealed to the ex-ballplayer after his fall from grace.