Sports Satire Fan Gifts

"Let me just tap this in, Greg, then you can putt out."

'Fouls and other violations have plummeted since the league introduced corporal punishment.'

Coach of basketball club sitting in his office with papers he has thrown all round the waste bin.

'It's one of my little superstitions, I always inject performance enhancing drugs into my left arm.'

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

'British Euthanasia Society Sports Day'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"The 3 major networks have projected a winner..."

"That was one strange and confusing competition."

Tiger Woods and the putter.

Whitehall mandarins express concern over 'over performance' of GPs

'Craig Venter is positive, sir. You take an empty cell, fill with Euro soccer hooligan DVD, multiply and defeat the Taliban!'

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

"Lady, if drinking beer was a sport, I'd nominate your husband for the hall of fame."

Football thug

Olympic torch for sale.

News stand sign 'England openers reach double figures'

Blind Referee

Doug adds a whole new dimension to the March Madness office pool.

Rugby catch.

'He's preparing for the Rugby World Cup.'

Fake Turf - Fake Athlete (Drugs).

'Naught or nice? Compared to whom: Lance Armstrong? Roger Clemens?'

'It's a realistic sports game! The object is to sign the biggest endorsement contract.'

Who's playing - 'I'm not sure.' - 'What's the score?' - 'I don't know.' - 'What the...?' - 'Yeah, baby... slow motion replay' -

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'

'When I said 'Go to your corner', I menat the one in the ring.'

So you get £20 for winning the round and £2000 redundancy!

'Um, I believe you misspelled...'

Vicorious Boxer's horse shoe falling onto referee.

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Why are you dressed like a British lawyer? The term is barrister, but it doesn't surprise me you don't know that. In fact, it helps me make the case I'm here to prove today: That you're a meathead because you suffered concussions playing football. That's ridiculous. Hold on! Let your counsel represent you. I want to be fair. Counsel? Never mind. He seems to have no comment.

Do you really have to do that every time you make a good call? 76. If refs acted like players.

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Dodgers player returning home from finally winning the World Series.