Satirical Sports Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Alternative fielding positions

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

The Golfing Accident

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'...and watch out for his 'flipper'!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Punishment for the kicker.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Football heads...

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Team medic spraying deodorant