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Sisyphus' baseball game

Canadian Hockey

"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Typical of a woman, hammering in with the blade of a bat instead of the handle."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

Inappropriate Selfies: Baseball Player

'Well this could be a problem.'

"Of course it's nothing to do with match rigging. I thought it was woodworm."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Melvyn Pawnmeyer: Cranial Dislocation. Out for the remainder of the season.

New bribery allegations in cricket.

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"How could she do it, the poor groundsman's spent months getting this wicket right."

Very, very young synchronized swimmers.

'He's gonna break any moment now. They're using the old 'good hop, bad hop' routine.'

'I want to play in the girls' football team, I even brought along my own cleats!'

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'We've closed this section down. In all the time no-one has ever tested positive.'

World Ping-Pong Federation.

"There now follows 90 minutes of relentless corporate advertising, thinly disguised as a football match. . ."

The Amok Run Becomes Han Olympic Discipline!

Football Premiership

'Sorry, but...we're only filling gaps in the company softball team.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Another cornucopia malfunction.'

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

"No, you can't kiss it better!"

Target shooter aims for football outside of stadium.

'... And writing columns critical of the team, its coaches and its players...'

Crucified for off-air comments.

Free Speech has heavy price.

"He failed the drugs test."